Every state is information, not a verdict
Reactive, stuck, carrying everyone, these aren't diagnoses of who you are. They're weather. And weather tells you something.
February 25, 2026
When you feel reactive, everything landing a little too hard, the instinct is to make it mean something about your character. "I'm too sensitive." "I've got a temper." "This is just who I am now."
That's the move I want to interrupt. A state is not an identity. Feeling stuck doesn't make you a stuck person; it tells you a door you're standing at doesn't lead where you need to go.
Read as information, every one of these states becomes useful. Reactive usually means a boundary got crossed you haven't named yet. Carrying everyone usually means you've quietly agreed to a job no one actually gave you. Stuck often means two of your real values are in a fight you haven't refereed.
None of that is a verdict on you. It's a set of instructions, if you're willing to read them instead of grading yourself.
In sessions, this is often the first real shift: the moment someone stops asking 'what's wrong with me' and starts asking 'what is this trying to tell me.' Different question. Completely different life.